DoublePlay
by Tala Mitena
Summary: When Axel and Roxas deicde to run, their small world expands and collides with Sora's and Riku's. The four men soon find themselves fighting for a past they did not know they had, a world they had no idea was theirs, and a love no one else can understand.
1. First Sight

Author's Note: Ugh. I really should be updating stuff, rather than starting new stuff. But whatevs. I've had this plan under my cap for about a year-and-a-half now, so here it is. It's a little...I don't know how to describe it. This first chapter is kind of confusing, so just know that this is definitely an AU fic. Anywho, I hope you enjoy!!

Disclaimer: As always, I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or any of the characters or settings depicted herein.

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DoublePlay

Chapter One: _"First Sight"_

Roxas spent most nights trying to remember life before Destati. He would lie awake until dawn crept through his high window, trying to recall anything that was neither nothingness, or that blurry vision of wild hair and emerald eyes that had welcomed him to this world. He was reluctant to call it a life.

It seemed to him that to qualify as having a life one had to _do_ something, or at least mean something to someone – to impact others or the world in some tiny way. All of these were requirements he was sure he did not meet. He knew nothing but blank walls, gaping, unending corridors, and the unfeeling faces of his twelve acquaintances. He _did _nothing but watch as Axel and Demyx tried their hand at conversation. The others always seemed busy, robotically bustling throughout the manor on their way to some important room he had yet to find, yet the three of them – the three youngest – spent their days doing nothing but attempting; attempting to force importance upon each other and attempting to recognize and label any emotions that may spring up in the process. It was useless, they knew, but it was all they could do. Try. He was sure they would succeed, if only they could remember what_life_ was, if they could just stretch their memories past their Awakenings.

Back then, they must have known what emotions were, what to call them. He knew they could have emotions, he just thought that whatever it was that had erased their past had also erased whatever part of them had known how to be human. And that was why Roxas spent his nights, as well as his days, trying. If he could remember his past, he was sure he'd be able to feel again.

Conversation was sparse in this utterly blank world, unless you were trying to recall. Every one of them had tried once, and they all knew the signs. Now they all stopped their mechanical comings and going briefly, if only to warn him. Remembrance was impossible, they said, and trying for it was dangerous. But he couldn't stop.

Once again, all he could conjure up was Axel. First there was nothing, then his eyes opened and everything was a blur of white walls, red hair, and pale skin, and two gleaming dots of green. When Axel finally came into focus, the red-head had just smiled, crooked and meaningless.

"Welcome back," he'd said, his voice dripping with unintended irony.

Sighing, Roxas returned to the present, and watched as Axel's fingers tip-toed along the foot of his bed. The older man was sitting on the floor, his head resting on the blonde's mattress as he stared into space, his mind far off, focused on God-knows-what.

"I _have_ to remember, Axe," Roxas whispered urgently. "We all do."

Axel's fingers stilled and he was silent for a long moment. Finally, heaving a long, low sigh, he hoisted himself onto the bed, turning to face the boy full-on. For the last handful of nights he'd taken up the habit of staying with Roxas as the blonde tried to remember. Because of the warnings he'd received from everyone else, Roxas had refrained from voicing his thoughts when Axel was around, but tonight he couldn't stop himself. He just didn't understand why no one else wanted to remember. Why they had all given up.

"Listen, kid. I know you've heard this all before – from everyone but me – but they're right. It's dangerous to think about the Past."

"It's important though!" Roxas snapped back, rising onto his knees and leaning forward to challenge Axel. "If we could just remember, then -"

"Then what, Roxas?" the red-head's tone surprised the other boy. He'd expected some sort of explosive reaction, but instead he'd been met with a quiet remark. "What? Then we'd sit around here all day thinking about what we had, not being able to get it back? You know we can't. Xemnas wouldn't let us in a million years. And even if we did...did you ever stop to think that anyone from our past would have been looking for us, unless they'd forgotten too?"

Sighing, Axel shook his head, his eyes wandering away from Roxas's face. "If you want that, buddy, then be my guest. I'd rather...not."

Roxas had remained determined through Axel's every word. He had thought of all that; he just hadn't been affected by it. He didn't want to go back. He just wanted to be able to understand the present.

"Axel, I just -"

"Can't you _just_ focus on what you have now?"

"And what's that, huh? What exactly do I have now? I have nothing but this huge manor and twelve people who-"

"You have -"

"I _have_ to remember! I _have_ to be able to feel again!"

"You _can_ feel, Roxas!" Axel was the one snapping now, his eyes wild as he flung his hands out and shoved the blonde backwards. "Damnit, we all can feel. We just don't know what to call our feelings. So you have that. You have feelings. You have feelings and you have..." he paused, sighing again and dragging a hand through his mess of red hair, "and you have me."

Blinking, Roxas rubbed at the place on his chest where Axel had pushed him. It had hurt only a little, and hadn't accomplished anything but throwing off the blonde's balance briefly. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

Axel shrugged. "I don't know."

"Axe..."

"It means you've got _me_, okay?" he murmured. "It means that when I'm near you I can't breathe right, and it means that when I'm not near you I can't think right. In fact, I can't think at all, unless I'm thinking about you. About you and your hair, and your hands and...your eyes...and just_you_," he was moving closer to Roxas now, biting his lower lip as his knees slid across the blonde's sheets until they collided with Roxas's. "It means that when I think about being this close to you, my heart starts beating too fast, and when you start thinking about your past, it stops beating, because I know you _didn't_ have me back then. But if I think about you looking for your memories and getting hurt, it stops beating for even longer, and if you ever did get hurt, I don't think it would start again."

Roxas looked down, focusing on the point where his knees and Axel's were touching. In the corner of his vision he could see the other man's hand, twitching and starting to move toward his own. "And what's all that supposed to mean?" he asked quickly, stopping the red-head's hand where it was.

"It means that you make me feel things, Roxas. I just don't know what to call those things that you make me feel."

"Maybe you would if you remembered..."

"Shut up," Axel whispered gently. The other immediately obeyed, but refused to remove his eyes from those two pairs of black-clad knees. He could already sense Axel's gaze roaming across his features slowly, analytically. He didn't need to see it. The emerald eyed one's breathing was deepening, slowing, and Roxas watched his hands curl into restrained fists.

Finally, Axel continued, his only word coming out in a gust of air. "Fine."

"What?"

"You want to figure out your past? Find a name to put to all of this?"

Roxas nodded.

"Fine. Okay. But I'm helping, and we're not staying here."

"What?" the blonde did look up then, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Hadn't Axel just said trying to leave this place was useless – that Xemnas wouldn't let them? Trying to leave was dangerous, and yet here Axel sat, now obviously set on escaping. Wit Roxas. To find out what he needed to know. Axel was perfectly willing to risk his life for Roxas's sake, just so that if the blonde got in trouble, he'd be there to either help or go tumbling after.

The realization made Roxas's heart swell and ache and melted all his doubt. He didn't know _exactly_ what it was but he knew it was a feeling.

"Roxas, I-"

"Okay," the blonde interrupted. Axel didn't need to say anything else; he'd said more than enough already. "Let's do it."

"We'll leave tomorrow night," the other man's voice was breathless and his eyes shone and danced like cold fire.

"We'll leave now," Roxas returned. His heart was racing, and he was sure it was ready to leap out of his chest. His lungs were grabbing and expelling air much too quickly, so that his head swam and his breath was hot. Yes, he definitely had feelings. And now he was ready to name them.

"We have time," he continued, both his and Axel's lips stretching into wide grins. "If we leave now, we can probably make it over Marluxia's garden walls before dawn. We'll have to run, but we'll make it. I know we will."

Without another wasted moment, both men grabbed on to the hoods of their coats and pulled them over their heads. Roxas's chest clenched as Axel's face disappeared into those dark depths, but he had no time to contemplate this, because in a flash they were up and running. Once they left the room, their surroundings never changed. They just kept running straight ahead, past white walls and identical doors, and yawning hallways, air whipping by as they each struggled to keep their eyes off the other.

Just moments ago the manor had seemed so large, unending and imprisoning. But now it was tiny, insignificant. It had not changed; they had. Roxas and Axel. They were so much larger than all this, so much greater. They would find the outside world, and they would conquer it as kings.

The hall still stretched before them. Had it been seconds or years since they'd started running? It didn't matter. They'd make it.

Roxas was starting to run out of breath, though, and his lungs were twisted and charred with the effort of breathing. Nonetheless, his feet thundered across the floor, his heart echoing each crash as he pressed forward, forward, forward...

Until there it was. It sprang up out of nowhere, looming before them like a large, marble-white warning of what may lie beyond it. They paused then, standing in front of that door for only a moment, long enough for them to smile and confirm the realization they had each come to.

Neither of them had seen this door before; they'd never reached this side of the manor. This door would not lead them to the high-walled obstacle of Marluxia's gardens. Instead it would take them somewhere they'd yet to discover. Maybe there would be no walls, or maybe there'd be a path, or at least something that would give them some sort of idea as to where to go next. God knew they hadn't thought of that themselves. Now that they had, it didn't seem to matter; not when they were so close to freedom.

Taking a deep breath, Axel reached out and grabbed hold of the gleaming silver handle, pulled it open, and turned to Roxas. "After you," he whispered.

The blonde was breathing heavily as he nodded, a ridiculous smile splitting his face. "Okay."

He stepped forward, out into the open air, and instantly whirled around, smile fleeing as his heart exploded. A sudden image of Axel shutting the door, disappearing forever, had assaulted him, and it was a paralyzing fault. Now that he knew the other man had some sort of feelings for him, Roxas was sure – somehow – that if the red-head left him to stay in that manor, his past, his need to press on to freedom, would dissolve.

"I won't go without you," he murmured urgently, watching Axel's crooked smile slide off his face.

"I wouldn't let you," the other man replied, his tone more reassuring than chiding as he followed Roxas out the door and slammed it shut behind them.

There was no wall, and there was no path, but neither seemed to make any difference to the two young men, because stretched before them was an expanse of green grass and dark, starry skies. But at the edge of the world, the horizon was blushing. Without a word, or even a glance, for each other they decided to head for the dawn. There was no other sign, and so they began walking, knowing it wouldn't be long before someone noticed they were missing.

"What made you change your mind?" Roxas asked as he slipped off his hood. Axel followed suit, and shrugged.

"What do you mean?"

"You were preaching the dangers of looking for my past, of leaving and then, all of a sudden you were ready to escape...for me."

"Nothing I guess. It just...happened."

"Axel."

"They know something about you."

Roxas almost froze, but the presence of the manor, unseen but still imposing, kept him moving. It didn't matter what the rest knew about him. He was on his way to finding it out anyway. As long as he kept moving.

"I don't know what it is, but I think it's something big. At least, from what I heard Xigbar and Xaldin talking about." Sighing and pulling a hand down his face, Axel paused, before shrugging as his eyes dulled and his jaw clenched. "They...they didn't have an Awakening, Rox. They remember their pasts...they remember all of our pasts. Do you remember when you told me you thought your past was something...important?"

Roxas nodded.

"I think you were right. I think Xemnas has been hiding you or something. I don't know. All I know is that now that you're looking for your answers, they're trying to stop you from asking questions."

"You didn't have to risk everything for me," the blonde murmured, halting in his steps and looking up into Axel's face. The older man's expression was blank, and set in stone. They stared at each other for a long while, Roxas fighting the urge to look away as his heart grew heavy, and Axel keeping his countenance as unreadable as possible.

"You know I wouldn't want to be anywhere you aren't, Roxas."

Roxas smiled as he started walking again. Neither of them knew how, but they'd affected each other. Suddenly he didn't mind the idea of never realizing his past, as long as he found a name for whatever it was that tied him to Axel.


	2. Precious Seconds

Author's Note: So, um…I don't know what to say really. I know it's been a while, but I don't expect anyone reading this to actually be back from when I posted the first chapter…in case that does happen – by some miracle – I apologize. To be honest, I just wasn't really in to Kingdom Hearts anymore and I don't really feel like writing a long-ass Author's Note just to word that nicely. But I do apologize!

In other news, I started playing 358/2 Days…since I'm now way behind in the land of KH…and it's proving incredibly helpful (and inspiring!) with this fic! Love seeing more of Axel and Roxas.

And for a final note, a reminder that – though it may not seem the case right now – this _is_ an AU fic.

Now, enjoy!

DoublePlay

Chapter Two: _"Precious Seconds"_

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Roxas groaned, smacking his lips together and running his tongue along the inside of his cheek. His mouth felt like it was full of sand and it hurt to swallow. The sun had been strong all day, his nose stung with what he hoped was not sunburn, and he had an intense headache.

"Would you stop that?" Axel rasped, coughing. He looked up at the sky, sighing gratefully when he saw that it was starting to darken.

"I'm thirsty," Roxas replied.

"Oh, yeah? Well it's a shame we don't have any water then, isn't it?"

The blonde narrowed his eyes at his friend, not exactly pleased by the sarcasm. "Yeah, shame," he snapped.

"Oh shut up," Axel whined, pressing his hands to the side of his head.

"We should have waited."

"Well _someone_ was a little eager to leave."

"You could have stopped me. You should have known better."

Axel stopped, spun on his heel and pushed Roxas. The blonde stumbled backwards, but he didn't quite care enough to make an effort to catch himself and so fell to the ground.

"How is any of this my fault?" Axel yelled. "Hell, Roxas, what am I supposed to do? You don't like it when I tell you to shut up and stay in the manor, but then when I humor you and we run it's suddenly _my_ fault that neither of us thought to bring water?"

Roxas pouted, still on the ground. "Or food," he muttered.

Axel laughed bitterly. "Or food."

"I wouldn't have even thought to leave if you hadn't brought it up," Roxas cleared his throat, hoping Axel would accept this small blame, but knowing he wouldn't.

"If you don't shut up this time, I will kill you. I swear I will."

"No. You wouldn't."

Axel paused. "No," he said, offering a hand to Roxas and pulling him to his feet. "I wouldn't."

"Jerk," the blonde said under his breath as he rubbed his sore backside. His companion snorted.

Since they had started bickering, night had fully set in, and Axel thanked God for this as he surveyed their surroundings. To the west, he spotted a thin stretch of wood, about another ten minutes' walk away. He pointed this out to Roxas.

"We can sleep there," he suggested. "We can rest in the shade in the morning; avoid the sun for a bit. Plus it's probably best if we're not out in the open…" he trailed off, and Roxas breathed out through clenched teeth. Nothing further needed to be said, and although he hated the idea of walking even a step more he knew it was wiser to head for cover. He nodded.

With a gusty sigh, sounding very much as if he were steeling himself for a particularly trying ordeal, Axel stepped forward. When he did not hear Roxas follow, he waved his hand and laughed when the boy groaned and finally managed to gather the strength to will himself onward.

There were many things he wanted to complain about during their walk, but Roxas had seen Axel's battle practices at the manor, and when it came to wielding fire magic, the redhead was simply unrivaled. It was just in his nature, Roxas supposed. There were times when he would catch sparks, small crackles of energy, flying at his friend's fingertips and Roxas was sure that Axel did not realize he was inches away from blasting something. After some consideration, Roxas came to the conclusion that this happened when Axel was gripped by one of a handful of emotions the blonde could not name, but certainly recognized as unpleasant.

His feet were throbbing, each step sending ripples of pain up his calves to flare at his knees. His throat and mouth were raw with thirst, his stomach was empty and churning, and his face radiated heat – definitely sunburned. But sure enough, those sparks were flickering by Axel's palms, and so Roxas wisely kept his mouth shut and watched his friend carefully.

Axel looked over his shoulder frequently, but his eyes did not once land on Roxas. They were watching the horizon, rapidly scanning the vast expanse of meadow they had been crossing since dawn. He was waiting for someone to pop up, for some member of the Organization to come and drag them back to the castle.

It was not at all like Axel to act like this, and when this thought occurred to Roxas his heart sped up and his already unsettled stomach suddenly felt heavy and solid. He wanted to vomit. Instead, as they finally stepped into the wood, he clenched his jaw, breathed in deep, and called softly to his friend.

"Axel," he whispered.

Axel turned slowly and fixed Roxas with a perfectly blank stare. The blonde flashed him a wavering smile and tried to think of something to say. He didn't, but Axel smiled back and laughed.

"C'mon, kid," he murmured, eyes dancing. "Let's find a spot to sleep in." He let Roxas slip ahead of him, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder as he passed. Roxas's nerves jumped and burned beneath the touch, but then Axel's hand was gone and Roxas's heart fluttered. He suddenly longed to reach out, grab his friend's hand and place it on his shoulder blade once more.

Eventually they came to a small clearing and after a short conversation – consisting mostly of Axel's questions and Roxas's removed hums of approval – they decided to rest there for the night. Despite the redhead's talent for manipulating fire magic, he found it difficult to grasp the practical application of the element, starting many fires easily but watching them smolder out quickly. After a while, he gave up with a snort and a kick at the last branch to have been unsuccessful in holding fire.

"Well that's that then, I guess," he muttered, his voice gruff. He cleared his throat and Roxas suddenly wondered if the other man was hoping Roxas would not pay too much attention to his failure.

The temperature dropped long before Roxas could manage to drift off to sleep. He hugged himself, tucking his knees close to his chest and burying his face in them. He reached up for his hood and yanked it over his face. This effectively warmed him, but at the same time the closeness of the heavy fabric of his robe seemed to stunt his breathing and he quickly felt the need to remove the hood and breathe deep.

Nearby, Axel cursed softly. "Roxas?" he called after a moment.

The sound of his name on Axel's tongue, rough and blurred with sleep, made Roxas's heart feel too large for his chest. It took him a moment to get his throat working, but then he whispered back, "What?"

"Get over here," Axel demanded.

"No," the blonde retorted, finding the idea of moving at all incredibly distasteful.

"Fine. I'll go there, then"

Roxas sighed and turned over to face the direction from which Axel's voice had come. He narrowed his eyes and peered through the darkness, trying to discern some sort of shape or motion. The tree cover was thick, though, and star and moonlight were blocked, so when Axel's body collided softly with his own Roxas's heart skipped a beat.

"God, Axel!" he cried.

"Couldn't see you, kid." It was as close to an apology as Roxas suspected he would ever get from the other man. "It's cold."

"Yeah, no kidding."

"Fire's…different, in practice."

Roxas laughed, "Yeah, sure."

"Oh shut up. Come here." Axel curled an arm around Roxas's waist, pulling the younger boy close until their bodies were pressed together, side by side.

"Axel, what…" the blonde could barely speak. His mouth was too dry, and on top of that every nerve in his body was thrumming and twitching. Roxas recognized that he was feeling something, but he couldn't even begin to understand it. It was at once almost painful and unimaginably pleasant.

"You're warm," Axel explained.

Roxas nodded, even though he knew his friend could not see. Eventually, the tremble of his hands and the flutter of his heart subsided and he was left only with the comforting warmth of Axel curled at his back. His last thought before sleep was of that crooked smile, those dancing green eyes, and the way his heart had shattered that morning as he'd imagined the door to the castle closing between him and Axel, shutting them off from one another forever.

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He woke late in the morning, judging by the way the light filtered through the trees with such strength. The first thing he wanted was to close his eyes, go back to sleep, and never wake again, but then awareness trickled through the fog still gathered in his mind. At some point in the night he had turned and was now facing Axel, who was still asleep. Roxas swallowed hard. One of Axel's arms was wrapped tightly around his waist; the other was resting between them, snaking upwards to where his hand cupped the nape of Roxas's neck. The blonde's own hands were resting on each of Axel's shoulders, and their legs met and twined together at the ankle.

Roxas marveled at the fact that, despite his back being uncomfortably cold, as he watched Axel his heart pumped languidly and all he could focus on was their points of contact; how his skin flushed pleasantly under his friend's touch.

_So we make each other feel things…_ he thought, watching Axel as he breathed through parted lips. Curious, Roxas rolled his bottom lip between his teeth and let his hands slide from the redhead's shoulders down to rest on his chest. He could feel it expand with Axel's every inhalation, and after a bit of maneuvering his left hand found a heartbeat. It was slow with sleep, but Roxas concentrated on its rhythm, memorizing it.

"Hey," Axel murmured after a while. His voice was softer than Roxas could remember ever having heard it before, and as the blonde looked up to watch him, Axel's tongue darted out to moisten his lips. His fingers flexed tentatively as he moved his hands to cover Roxas's.

Roxas felt his breath wither in his throat, listened carefully as Axel's quavered. The younger man wanted nothing more than to lift his chin and assess his friend's expression. When he did he found that Axel was watching him, blinking in long intervals. The redhead visibly struggled to regulate his breathing. After taking a long breath he tilted his head until his forehead touched Roxas's, then slid his fingers between the blonde's.

Roxas had the urge to pull away, to demand that before this queer interaction went any further – whatever that entailed – they try to hash out some sort of explanation for this whole situation. But something deep within him quelled the urge with an acute sense of foreboding. He knew that this was how they would need to learn about their emotions: through exploration. What's more, he knew that even if he and Axel had lived outside the Organization, had never forgotten their pasts or how to feel, Roxas would regret interrupting a moment like this.

Reluctantly, he moved his hands from Axel's chest and twined their fingers together. For a long while they did nothing but watch as they turned their hands over and over, caressing each other's palms and forearms. Tiny sparks of heat and a tingling crawl of Roxas's skin bloomed under each sweep of his friend's fingertips. The blonde moved his gaze slowly up the length of Axel's arm, over the slope of his shoulder, following the lines of his jaw to finally contemplate his mouth. Where the slant of his smirk usually resided, now sat the pucker of a confused pout, lips slightly parted. As Axel's breath ghosted over Roxas's own lips, a roiling, insistent need gathered behind the blonde's groin and was echoed, tumbling, in his chest.

Axel took notice of Roxas's attention to his lips and closed them into a thin, firm line. The redhead hesitantly retracted his touch from Roxas's arms and slowly stood. He turned away, shaking out his hands before running them through his hair. After clearing his throat he spoke in a hoarse, labored voice.

"We should probably get a move on," he said.

It took Roxas a long while to gather himself enough to respond. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess we should."

Axel nodded, and Roxas stood to follow him out of the woods. His heart ached with a dull throb, feeling emptier than ever before.


End file.
